50% in love
and 50% worried about that
80% feeling
20% numb
90% willing
10% eager
100% changeable
100% what i am
20% what i could be
100% desirous to change
0% knowing how
i am the queen of lonely nights and bad decisions.
this thing inside me is climbing out,
and i can't help thinking it's what made me interesting to begin with.
my mind is disconnected with my body and floating above a cemetery in spain
and i remember what those words sounded like to me
four fifths left behind
the other fifth is just lonely.
however, the light shines a little, providing
some semblance of warmth
i hear tell that's torture because it can't last
but i just want you near me in this weird
platonic way.
two thirds needy,
one third unaffiliated.
i go backward more
than i seem to go forward these days
and i'm afraid that no one will see
how scared i really am.
seven eighths panicking
one eighth desperate.
excited for the future? maybe,
i mean, is it possible to look forward
to something you have no clue about?
i might be half a foot too short to be loved.
maybe my ankles are too skinny.
my body is 20% body fat
the other 80% is made of styrofoam
how easily melted i am.
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